How a weekend at a historic South Carolina bed and breakfast became one of the most intentional things I’ve ever done for my family
I’ve been thinking about what it means to gather the women in your family on purpose. Not for a wedding, or a funeral, or because something happened that required everyone to show up, but just an intentional gathering that in an ordinary moment of time that becomes an opportunity to reflect and bridge the gaps. Because our family stories are still here, the women who had a front row seat are still here, and those two things won’t always be true at the same time.
That’s how the Matriarch Trip was born. (Read my interview about it with parents.com)
Mother’s Day weekend, I packed up my son and drove to Georgetown, South Carolina and met my mother, my grandmother, and my aunts. We were heading to Wicklow Hall— a historic luxury bed and breakfast tucked into the heart of South Carolina’s Hammock Coast, about an hour from Charleston. I had chosen it deliberately. Not just for the charm of it, though that was real, but because the landscape felt familiar. Because the trees that anchor the property are the kind of trees you feel before you see them. Ancient, rooted, unhurried. The kind of trees that have watched generations of people move through their shade and stayed standing anyway.
I needed that energy for what I was trying to do.
Why I brought my son
My son is young, nearing five years old. He won’t remember the specifics of this weekend like the exact words anyone said, the names we wrote down in this family history book, or the way his great-grandmother’s face looked when she talked about her mother. But I believe he will remember the feeling of it: the warmth of a room full of women who loved him, the sound of laughter that came from somewhere deep and old, and that particular safety of being surrounded by people who carry your history in their bodies.
I’ve been writing a book about my Gullah Geechee heritage— about the community who built something from nothing on the coast of South Carolina and the role that women played in that. And the more I research, the more I understand that heritage isn’t passed down through documents. It’s passed down through proximity. Through being in the room when the stories get told. My son wasn’t going to understand everything this weekend. But he was going to be there. And sometimes being there is the whole point!!
The setting does the work
We arrived at Wicklow Hall late afternoon and something happened that I didn’t expect… everything slowed down immediately!! There was no to-do list waiting. No dishes in the sink, no laundry to fold, no notification pulling anyone’s attention away from the room. Just the property, the trees, the Lowcountry air, and each other.
That evening we drove into Georgetown’s charming riverfront and had a lovely at The Independent on a street that felt like it had been waiting for us. We came back to our cottage, played games, talked, laughed the kind of laughter that only happens when you’re not performing for anyone, then we all went to sleep.
The next morning we woke up at our leisure. No alarms or schedule. Just the slow ease of a morning that belonged entirely to us…and a four year old that rises just after the sun!
Wicklow Hall prepares breakfast baskets for their guests and ours was extraordinary. We had organic orange juice, heirloom tomato pie, their signature lemon ricotta pancakes with maple syrup, a fresh berry salad. Everything felt homemade and considered. The kind of breakfast that says: you are expected, you are loved, and this morning matters. We ate together and then we sat around the table longer than the meal required. Which is exactly what I had hoped for.
The conversation I had been waiting for
After breakfast, I brought out the Family History Book I found earlier this year. It’s a beautiful leather bound volume that gives you the opportunity to record important family dates among other things. In fact, this trip was inspired by this purchase so I couldn’t wait to get their help. As we sat there, I asked them to remember.
We went around the table. Women I had known my entire life began telling me things I had never heard. Names of people I never got to meet, places I hadn’t thought to ask about, and all the small connections and moments and details that exist nowhere except in the memories of those women sitting in that room with me. I recorded as much as I could and passed the book around so they could do the same. There were a lot of things we’ll need to confirm or look up at a later date, but this was the start of something that I know will be passed down for generations to come. I will cherish that book for the rest of my life and I cannot wait to open it up with my son someday when he’ll crave the knowledge of our family. It will be full of the handwriting and the voices and the specific memories of the women who shaped our family, and I’ll be able to say “you were there when we began this”.
This is why the Matriarch Trip has to happen while the matriarchs are still here to take it.
The Matriarch Tree
Before we left, we walked to a tree on the property that the staff at Wicklow Hall refer to as the Matriarch Tree. It’s has been standing for anywhere between 350-400 years. I can’t imagine everything it has witnessed, but that day as we stood under it and took photos, it witnessed four generations of women + one little, adventurous boy give thanks to those that came before us.
There is something about a tree that has outlasted everyone who planted it. Something about standing in its shade and understanding that you are both small and significant at the same time. That you came from something, that you are building something, and that the women next to you are the proof of both.
It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.
Why you should do this
Research increasingly supports what many of us already feel intuitively… that multigenerational connection shapes children, strengthens families, and anchors identity in ways that are difficult to replicate anywhere else. But you don’t need a study to know that. You just need to think about the last time you sat with the women in your family with nowhere to be and nothing to do except remember together.
When did that last happen?
The Matriarch Trip doesn’t have to be elaborate, or expensive, or even be far from home. It just has to be intentional and in a setting that removes the distractions of ordinary life. It should simply be time that belongs to the women in your family, questions worth asking, and someone willing to write the answers down.
If you’re looking for a place to start and you have any connection to the Lowcountry, to South Carolina, or to the kind of landscape that feels like memory, Wicklow Hall is it. With eight rooms, historic grounds, breakfast that feels like love, and a collection of trees that has been holding stories longer than any of us have been alive, there’s no place more fitting.
So this is your sign to book it, gather your women, and bring a notebook.
And if you have a little boy who won’t understand everything… bring him anyway. He will understand more than you think.
xx, MPR
This post was sponsored by Wicklow Hall, but all views are my own!
